Interesting People Have a Thriving Social Life

Far too often in my country (The United States) as people get older their social circle and social life die out.  There seems to be a tendency towards people marrying, having a family and cutting themselves off from the rest of the world once their work hours are done.  Sure they probably have some family functions on major holidays, but for the most part they lead a very boring social life.  Single people are often guilty of this too.

One thing that I noticed upon graduating High School and then college was that you slowly start to lose friends over time.  You tend to lose more than you gain.

Friends move away, get married, have kids, get “too busy” with work, or just overall too tired and lazy to maintain or build  upon their social life.

I noticed this same slow death of my social circle about 10 years ago.  One by one it became tougher and tougher to organize a Friday or Saturday night out.  I still enjoy going out to bars and night clubs with friends on the weekends and especially meeting new people.  The point had come though where I was going out by myself.  I would still interact with people when I went out, but it just wasn’t as fun as having a core group of friends to meet up with and bounce back to between meeting and interacting with new groups of people.

We are incredibly lucky to live in the internet age where we can easily find like-minded people that live near us to meet up with and maybe build friendships with….

I found out I wasn’t alone with my dying social circle and that there were many many people just like me who were looking to have friends to go out and have a good time with.  In addition, many of these people were actually really cool, interesting, intelligent, and successful people that would later become some of my best friends.

I realized that a social circle just like a garden requires maintenance to keep alive, grow and prosper.  I went online, found a group of people that seemed to think like me, joined the group and went out one Friday night to meet them.  I almost didn’t go since I was kind of lazy from a long week at work, and it seemed like kind of a strange thing to do at the time, but I sucked it up and went anyway.  I met two good friends that night and had a great time out.  I kept going out and my circle of friends continued to grow.  Sometimes my friends that I grew up with that stopped going out started coming out again, but I no longer needed them to.  I once again had a thriving social circle full of people that over time became real friends.  We would travel to foreign countries, help each other move and do all of the things that real friends do.

Once I realized the importance of continually adding to my social circle I would always look to add new people when I went out.  I realized that with most things in life they are either growing or dying and rarely just staying static.

A great practice is to also befriend a variety of people: ones more bold and loud than you, ones that are more quiet, people that work in different professions, wealthier, less well to do, smarter, dumber, different races, ages, etc…. You never really know who will become your most reliable new best friend so give new people a chance.  I’ve found that one of the most important traits in a new friend is just their willingness and desire to go out and meet up.

Some resources that I found that are great for meeting like-minded people in your area are meetup.com, Facebook groups and yahoo groups.  I also know many people do volunteer work, join charities, churches or other clubs and organizations.

Many people often rely on others to organize their social life.  This can be okay if there is a person/people that regularly do this so that you have plenty of social options, but it is best not to be wholly reliant on them.  When meeting new people get their contact information and be in the habit of putting events together if there isn’t anything planned already.  Be a social hub through which other people meet each other and who people go to when looking for something to do.

Ideally you should be having some sort of social event at least once a week.  I personally aim for at least two or three times a week, but definitely one is a minimum to go for.  Studies have shown that people that maintain a strong social life live longer and are happier.  Strength truly does come in numbers.  Having a core group of around five really close friends is also very important and those people will become apparent over time.

So to sum up here are some of the most important points.

1. Social circles need to constantly be added to to keep things interesting and to make up for people retiring.  Always be recruiting.
2. The internet is a great place to find new people that can become really good friends.
3. At least one person in a social circle needs to proactively organize gatherings.  They are the hub.  There can always be more than one hub.
4. Look to meet up at least once a week to have a thriving social life and to keep the momentum going.

Interesting people tend to hang out with other interesting people.  Life is also always more interesting when shared with others.  Don’t let yourself slowly become a hermit; go out there and interact with others, keep your social skills fine-tuned, and keep living your most interesting life.

D